Worry

Last night, I accidentally fell asleep on the floor. This morning at, like, 6:17, my dad walked into my room and woke me up, however I was in a state where I could still pretend I was asleep. He saw me on the floor, shined the flashlight in my face, and looked behind my dresser for his checks (because he have to hide them from my shopaholic mother), and then he left. Just left. He left me on the floor! I got up and moved myself, but I was still shocked that he left me! He didn't even try to wake me up! I had carpet imprints on my stomach! I feel back asleeping and didn't wake up till about 10. My mother asked me if I wanted go with her to run a few errands, and maybe get something to eat, but I wasn't in the mood. I told her I would stay home and clean the kitchen for her instead. While I was waiting for her I watched Matthew Santoro's "Top 10 Most Haunted Places in the World". Whilst learning about said horrors, I could've sworn I heard someone turn on water in the kitchen. Immediately I got scared, nobody was home but me! I checked everything, even the washing machine that sometimes makes faucet noises when its washing clothes, but it was off, and open, and there was nothing inside. I really hope I wasn't having a ghostly experience... Perhaps it was the ice dispenser or the something outside. Then my mother showed up.

Today in Philosophy today, we talked a little bit more of what was real outside of our minds. D'Carte's studies I believe was what it's called. Although the only thing he could conclude was that "I think, therefore I am" he also proved that math and emotions are real. Everything else though (people, colors, things, places, words) we can't know with certainty are real. Not that they aren't! Those are just his studies.

For Lunch I had Hot Cheetos, but I got to talk to Kaylenna. I showed her all the oddities of the deep ocean. Nightmare fuel like Gulper eels, goblin sharks, giant isopods, bobbit worms; all perfect for everlasting nightmares! Then I showed her some cute fish, like the dumbo squid~ They are adorable! I mostly talked to her about how fish are just weird.

For the remainder of lunch, I figured I try to draw something, inspired by music, but as I sat down in the library. I had this lack of motivation. I feel more tired that I usally do~ Maybe because I slept on the floor? I went to bed earlier last night... I don't know. I just didn't feel like drawing~ Typing however, I looked forward to that.

In Algebra Skills, we went over Inequalities and Translations. I was really happy in Math, because when I get it, Math is funnest thing in the world, and the teacher becomes my best friend. I begin finding it easy and although I struggle a little, once I see the answer, I can solve things myself. I got lots of praise today, even some extra credit for writing an answer up on the door.

After school me and my mother went to Hobby Lobby and I got really excited for Halloween and Christmas. I really look forward to them :) They are my favorite holidays, right above Valentine's Day and Thanksgiving.

When we got home, things took a little bit of a depressing turn. My mother gets upset really easily and starts arguing with my dad. I don't care about what they argue about, I just wish they would stop. Then on the news they were talking about how America is putting up extra security everywhere in prep for 9/11 tomorrow. They've never done it before, and I have no doubt that we'll be safe. If Islam or whatever even tries to pick a fight with us, or Russia, they're asking for it. I just worry that if for some slim chance, or some fatal mistake, we could still be in danger. My parents tell me that they're going to need me in the morning, but since they've got me panicked, I'm going to have a little bit of a hard time going to bed. I always do this. I think something terrible is going to happen to all of us, and when I finally find relief from it, something else comes up that scares the hell out of me. To the point where it's bothersome to sleep. If only my parents could see how hard it is to just lie there in bed and let my thoughts attack me. That's why I stay up on the computer, to distract myself, to hold onto the cloud that got me out of my rut. But they can't see that. They'll never see that...

• Cute boys, cute boys everywhere but where is one for me? ;^; It makes me sad sometimes~ I see all these cute guys, and think they'd never look at me like a woman, just a girl. A little baby girl not worthy of a girlfriend. That's how I was seen in High School. why should now be any different? But I still have hope, the slightest bit of hope ;w; that one day I'll met the perfect man, to stand by me and love me. I'll just have to be patient and wait.